Financial Dependence

As I sit on my deck, delighted to be able to spend the day doing work that holds meaning for me rather than cooped up in a cubicle, I am confronted by my first dilemma.

Where will my next paycheck come from?

The answer, of course, is that there won’t be a next paycheck.Not until I convince some person out in that vast world they call literati that I am worthwhile of a print in their fine magazine or journal.My instinct tells me to go quick and revise that resume, start skimming craigslist for possible positions, and practice my interview delivery.

But I don’t have to do that.Ben makes enough to support us and is willing to be that sole source of income for as long as I want to give this writer’s life a try.It’s a fantastic opportunity for me, I know, but I can’t help but feel that it makes me a lesser partner in the marriage somehow, like I’m not pulling my weight because I’m only microwaving the bacon, not slaughtering the pig.As a fiercely independent woman, willingly choosing to not pay my own way is anathema to my nature.

I know there are many of you out there who do depend on someone else to pay the bills and have for years.How do you deal with it?Do you feel that your non-monetary contributions are enough to balance the scales or have you learned to be at peace with your situation and accept it as a gift?Maybe you haven’t come to terms with it at all.Whatever the case, comments are appreciated!

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