Tag Archive for humor

“Mixed Signals, or, Learning How to Speak” Now Available!

“Mixed Signals,” or, “Learning How to Speak” Published!

“Mixed Signals, or Learning How to Speak,” a short story I wrote last summer, is now available in PDF or print as part of Typehouse Literary Magazine’s Issue 9. You can head to their webpage to download the PDF for FREE – ABSOLUTELY FREE – and it’s chockful of what’s sure to be an amazing mix of literary and genre fiction, poetry, and photography. Just click on the cover image below.

Typehouse Issue 9 Mixed Signals Rebecca Gomez Farrell

There should be a link to the PDF on that page, or you can download it directly right here. The print version of the magazine is not free, but at only $8 for 150 pages of brand-new fiction and poetry, it’s a pretty good deal. Order it directly from CreateSpace here or from Amazon here. I’ll be picking up a couple copies myself!

Mini-Synopsis

“Mixed Signals” is a humorous sci-fi tale about someone down on their luck, romantically and economically. He soon discovers he has a whole lot more he should be concerned about when a crosswalk signal sends him on a convoluted scavenger hunt through the city. Yes, a crosswalk signal.

Miami University Crosswalk Signal

 

I borrowed that photo from Miami University — surprisingly, even though I’m writing stories about them, I do not have a photo of a crosswalk signal on hand! The short story hinges on a speech from which I took inspiration from that television masterpiece, Mork and Mindy. I, indeed, was revising that particular scene around the time of Robin Williams’ death, and that encouraged me to go all in, embracing the potentially cheesy, but ideally moving, moment. Here’s the first paragraph:

Ka-kink. Ka-kink. Ka-kink.

Some guy’s hand flew to the crosswalk button as though a magnetic force drew him, a few feet from
where I sat at a sidewalk café table. Dressed like a hippie and smelling like it too, he spit out
the words, “Callin’ in, Cap’n. Callin’ in.” The syncopated rapidity interfered with the vibe of
melancholic freedom I’d been cultivating. That morning, Alvarado Construction had pink-slipped me.
Three weeks earlier, my girlfriend, Jolanda, had broken up with me, screamed me out of her place
with complaints I didn’t understand her love language, and no, she didn’t mean Spanish.

But I was over it. Completely.

Go read! And please share with me your thoughts on the story. Or better yet, review Typehouse Literary Magazine Issue #9 on Goodreads or Amazon!

And the Next One is…

“Mixed Signals,” while I hope it entertains all you lovely readers, is not all I have coming up the pipeline for you. Stay tuned for more announcements throughout September! In the meantime, have another picture of an important piece of the “Mixed Signals” narrative.

Image from the World Scout Shop

Image from the World Scout Shop

Five Truths for North Carolinians

If we’re friends in the flesh, then you may have heard me go off on one of these rants before. Call it therapy in anticipation of our move, but I have a few things about North Carolina I want to get off my chest. And because Southerners like to believe everything’s better if you coat it in sugar or butter it up, I’ve followed each with a counterpoint extolling what I love about this state.

1. The sky is not Carolina Blue.

Sky in North Carolina.

Sky in North Carolina.

I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, Tarheel fans, but the sky is the same color everywhere you go, and that color is not Carolina Blue. It’s called sky blue, and that’s because it existed well before the University of North Carolina was a speck in dear old William R. Davies’ eye. You do not have a patent on the color of the sky, and it’s darn obnoxious that you think you do.

Sky in Yosemite. Oh look, it’s the same!

Sky in Yosemite. Oh look, it’s the same!

1a. Your House Divided bumper stickers are pretty cute.

Credit: Outdoor Wholesale Dropship

I love it when couples antagonize each other, and there’s no better way to observe that than during a basketball game with split Duke and UNC allegiances among the hosts. What’s even cuter is that NC State fans actually think they are UNC’s rivals. It makes me want to rub the whole Wolfpack’s heads with condescending pats.

2. Get some damn streetlights.

Those are the things on the right.

Those are the things on the right.

And while you’re at it, throw in some sidewalks and lane reflectors, too. Driving at night here is a guessing game—is that a lane divider over there or is it more construction on Davis Dr.? Who knows?! It’s too damn dark to see. Don’t even try and read the street signs. In fact, maybe you should just avoid traveling at night, especially if it’s raining. Turn on your brights, and all you’ll get are reflections in the puddles of water washing over the asphalt. There is a resistance to night pollution in this state. For all you city folk, night pollution is the collective effect that electronic lighting has on our ability to see stars. I’ll take being alive over seeing stars any day. Pun intended.

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